The issue of same sex marriage is a hotly debated emotional topic. I believe that is one of the main points of contention, namely that it is an emotional topic. It can often be difficult to argue one way or another for a point of view when your emotions are so involved. This does not mean you cannot make a reasonable case for your point of view. Aside from the political aspects of this decision, it's social ramifications are also great. Some will see this as a political victory, others as judicial activism. But is there good reason to restrict marriage to one man and one woman?
First I will address some of the common arguments proponents in favor of same sex marriage and the reasons I believe these arguments fail. Then I will cite information people are very rarely exposed to. This information though readily publicly available is systematically ignored for what I believe are political reasons. I am under no illusions that my view is socially unpopular, and accordingly will be labeled with cruel names by people who regularly champion tolerance. It is my experience arguments in favor of traditional marriage are wholly ignored by those proponents of same sex marriage. The introductory paragraph or two is read then the information is not addressed, and in place of rebutting the arguments, slogans are offered.
I am fully aware my next statement will at first not sound quite right, but after you hear me through I think you will begrudgingly have to agree. Even with same sex marriage banned, everyone has the same rights and restrictions, regardless of any demographic differences. This is a fact, let me explain. Everyone has the right to marry any person of the opposite sex, who is of proper age, and who is free to marry. This is as true for heterosexuals as it is for homosexuals. The main point of contention here is the claim I can marry anyone I want to as a heterosexual, a freedom the homosexual claims is not granted to him. But I also cannot marry anyone wish. I may not marry a friend, who is also a man for tax, health care, and property purposes, or for love for that matter. If I wanted to marry a close relation (as defined by my state) I am restricted from marrying that person as well. What is being asked for is the state (or federal government) to take an interest in my sexual attraction and emotional commitment to the person I wish to marry. As it stands currently, my marriage licence application did not have a section asking if I am attracted to or am in love with my perspective wife. Nor should they. Even though love is a factor for marriage, it isn't the only factor.
If the government should be promoting relationships, which it does through tax breaks and such, then it ought to be promoting the healthiest relationships. Fidelity is a big part to sustaining a healthy relationship. While among heterosexual relationships studies show that that 75-81% of married men and 85-88% of married women had never broken their marriage vows (1).
However studies also confirm that fidelity among homosexual males is dismal in comparison. Studies have repeatedly shown 43% of white homosexual men had sex with at least 500 partners and 28% had sex with at least 1000 partners (2). The Journal of Sex Research reported most homosexuals have between 100 and 500 sexual partners within their lifetime. 10.2% had between 501 and 1,000 sex partners, 15.7% had more than 1000 sex partners within their lifetime (3). Studies conducted by pro-homosexual groups corroborated these findings, 24% of those homosexuals surveyed admitted having had more than 100 sex partners in their lifetime. And many of those had more than 1000 sex partners (4).
According to Maria Xiridou, et al, “The Contribution of Steady and Casual Partnerships to the Incidence of HIV Infection among Homosexual Men in Amsterdam”, AIDS 17, 2003, homosexuals considering themselves monogamous admitted to having up to eight additional partners per year. Other studies confirm this phenomenon: Ryan Lee, “Gay Couples Likely to Try Non-monogamy, Study Shows”, Washington Blade, August 22, 2003; David H. Demo, et al., editors, “Handbook of Family Diversity”, New York, Oxford University Press, 2000; David P. McWhirter and Andrew M. Mattison, “The Male Couple: How Relationships Develop”, Englewood Cliffs, Prentice-Hall, 1984. One report showed that only 2.7% of homosexual men had only one partner during their life time, (5).
Monogamy among homosexual male couples is virtually non-existent. It is the exception, not the rule. Putting aside the monogamy of same sex couples, what about the duration of the relationship itself. The commitment to the partner regardless of extra-relational partners. The facts on the duration of the relationships fare no better. A study conducted in 2001 revealed 66% of first marriages last ten years or more, and 50% last twenty years or longer, (6). Another study in 2002 discovered 70.7% of women married between 1970 and 1974 stayed married for at least 10 years, 57.7% stayed married for at least 20 years (7).
A study done not long ago, a 2003/2004 survey of homosexual lifestyles by a homosexual organization no less, reported 15% of same sex relationships lasted longer than 12 years and only 5% of those lasted longer than 20 years (8). Homosexual men exceedingly less likely to be in monogamous long term relationships, in fact the average length of a homosexual partnership is approximately 1.5 years (9).
Without going into the health issues associated with homosexual behavior which far out proportion their heterosexual counter parts. Stats for which can be found easily at the Center for Disease Control website. A site which can be considered unbiased. We see based on relationship factors, same sex relationships are not on par with heterosexual relationships. For the state to endorse homosexual relationships as equal to and appropriate for state motivation is unfounded by the evidence and is done so strictly for political appeal.
1) Michael W. Wiederman, “Extramarital Sex: Prevalence and Correlates in a National Survey”, Journal of Sex Research 34, 1997; E. O. Laumann et al., “The Social Organization of Sexuality: Sexual Practices in the United States”, Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1994; and “Sexual Habits of Americans Have Changed Dramatically in Ten Years: New National Survey Finds Both Men and Women More Committed and Caring”, PR Newswire, August 4, 1994
2) A. P. Bell and M. S. Weinberg, “Homosexualities: A Study of Diversity Among Men and Women”, New York: Simon and Schuster, 1978, pp. 308, 309; and A. P. Bell, M. S. Weinberg, and S. K. Hammersmith, “Sexual Preference”, Bloomington, Indiana University Press, 1981
3) Paul Van de Ven et al., “A Comparative Demographic and Sexual Profile of Older Homosexually Active Men”, Journal of Sex Research 34, 1997
4) “Sex Survey Results”, Genre, October 1996, as quoted in “Survey Finds 40 percent of Gay Men Have Had More Than 40 Sex Partners”, Lambda Report, January 1998
5) Van de Ven et al., “A Comparative Demographic and Sexual Profile”, The Journal of Sex Research, Volume 34, 1997
6) Matthew D. Bramlett and William D. Mosher, "First Marriage Dissolution, Divorce and Remarriage: United States," Advance Data, National Center for Health Statistics - May 31, 2001
7) Rose M. Kreider and Jason M. Fields, "Number, Timing, and Duration of Marriages and Divorces: 1996" Current Population Reports, P70-80, U.S. Census Bureau, Washington, D.C. February 2002
8) “Largest Gay Study Examines 2004 Relationships,” GayWire Latest Breaking Releases, http://www.glcensus.org/
9) Maria Xiridou, et al, "The Contribution of Steady and Casual Partnerships to the Incidence of HIV Infection among Homosexual Men in Amsterdam," AIDS 17 - 2003
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